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The 5 Best Muppet Stretches

June 15, 2015 by JD Hansel Leave a Comment

Are you ready for a workout?  Not until you’ve done your stretches!  If you don’t stretch before working out, you could twist your armwire or lose your legs! So, here are the best stretches you should do before every workout, as depicted by Muppets.

1.  The Kermit Flail

tumblr_mt1m17ybjO1ryfjweo1_400

The goal with this stretch is to throw your arms in the air extremely rapidly as if you have no elbows or bones. Even some of the biggest elbow-lovers flail their arms in such a way, mostly because it’s a great way to get an audience excited.

2.  The Flipper Twister

Kermit legs MTM hospital

You may need the help of a friend, or a nurse, to do this properly, but for this stretch, you must keep your legs straight while raising your feet above your head.    If you find this to be slightly impossible, maybe it would help if you were hit by a car.

3.  The NBA Player

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiEtn4coMgw

For this stretch, you need to be a Gonzo.  Otherwise, it could be a little dangerous.  In this stretch, your arms and legs are simply pulled and pulled and pulled – either by a British comedian or by a torture device on a pirate ship – until they are a few yards long. This increases your height and arm reach significantly, but it’s best to have some scientists nearby to do a “window-shade” trick so you can pull yourself together afterward.

4.  The Tangled Earbuds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=569V1d4iepk?t=13m

(Skip to about the thirteen-minute mark if the video doesn’t do so automatically.) No explanation is needed. Just follow the video exactly. This doctor is a genius.

5.  The Plot of The Amazing Spiderman 2

Muppet wrestlers

This is the best stretch you could possibly do for your body, assuming you’re a Muppet wrestler.  It requires two people, and all you have to do is knot yourselves together as much as possible until you’re in a big tangled mess.  By the end, you should feel like spaghetti, but in a bad way.

Now you’re finally ready to start your workout!  (If all of this seems like too much for you, Miss Piggy has an alternate workout routine that may be right for you.)

Filed Under: Articles, Satire

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