It’s time once again for a Puppet Dream Cast! In our first article in this series, we figured out which puppet characters would be best for the characters in Winnie the Pooh, and now we’re doing it with another popular children’s franchise, Harry Potter.
Because there are too many characters in the series to cast all of them in one article, we’re keeping this focused on the main characters that everyone knows. (My apologies to Headless Bill and Spider Gremlin, who would have been perfect for Nearly Headless Nick and Aragog, respectively.) Naturally, I’ll start off with my favorite character in the series, Hermione.
Roxie Marie as Hermione
The Muppets don’t have many characters who are particularly brainy, so sometimes we just have to settle for someone who looks smart enough to pull it off. Roxie Marie, the niece of construction worker Biff, has an accent so far from Emma Watson’s (which she presumably gets from her uncle) that I’d die to see her in the role of Hermione. It’s actually not too crazy for her to be in this role since she seemed to be a bit smarter than her uncle Biff, who often needed a hand with a task as simple as counting to 40.
Cookie Monster as Ron Weasley
Ron’s role in the series always seemed to be to eat, panic, swear, and leave. Change his catchphrase to cowabunga and Ron is instantly Cookie Monster by nature. Always hungry, very slow to catch on, not entirely sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others, but still good at heart. This is a match made in Cookie Heaven.
The Wiseman (Labyrinth) as Dumbledore
This is purely typecasting. World’s Oldest Fraggle and Yoda are both honorable mentions. (By the way, I think we now know who the sorting hat has to be.)
The Ghost of Christmas Present as Hagrid
I’m not entirely convinced that the Ghost of Christmas Present hasn’t secretly been Hagrid all along. They have about the same build, and I’m starting to think Hagrid was just an animatronic character in all the Potter films.
Walter (Jeff Dunham) as Severus Snape
Walter is pretty much what Snape would look like all the time if he dared to emote. It would be great to finally see Snape as the sourpuss I suspect he’s always been underneath, and I think he’d probably call his students all the names he’s been wanting to call them for some time….
Elmo as Draco Malfoy
Believe it or not, I’ve heard a Sesame Street performer refer to Elmo (somewhat facetiously) as “The Little Red Menace.” After he pushed all other Sesame Muppets to the sidelines, it just became too easy and fun to make Elmo out to be a jerk. Seeing Elmo as such a malevolent character would be the laugh of the century.
Brain Gremlin as Lord Voldemort
I don’t think any other puppet character is as villainous, or as hideous, as the Brain Gremlin from Gremlins 2. He has the intellect and the creepiness to be a perfect foe for our Harry Potter, who just so happens to be…
Robin the Frog as Harry Potter
The trick with Harry’s character is to find someone who’s a pretty simple, relatable kid, without too much distinction from the average boy. I think Robin oddly works well for that type of thing, and would also be rather adorable in Potter glasses. There’s just one little problem: I’m not sure where his scar would go since he has no forehead.
Elmo as Draco? Seriously?!